Couples Therapy

You are probably looking for couple/marital therapy because you feel stuck in your relationship. Most couples get stuck in some repetitive form of conflict, while others may get stuck in a relationship that feels lacking in engagement and passion. In either case: the key to transforming your relationship is deepening your intimacy and making positive emotional contact.

Why choose me?

1. I specialize in working with couples.  If you break a bone, would you see a general practitioner? You would probably see a specialist. I focus on working with couples because of my passion for helping couples experience greater intimacy and fulfillment in their relationships.

2. Advanced training and a focus on proven methods. I am a Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, which is the most well-researched and current form of couple therapy. I also am continually integrating the latest neuroscience and other scientific findings on relationships to provide you with the best care possible.

3. My approach is strength-based and collaborative. The most powerful part of your relationship is not your conflict — it is the longing you both have to be close and feel loved. This longing is healthy and is an essential part of being human. I help couples to connect with each other by tapping into this innate drive to be bonded to one another. Many couples experience a type of closeness and intimacy that they have never encountered before.

Please call (415) 488-5423 for a free 20 minute consultation about your unique situation.

Additional Information:

Modern neuroscience has confirmed what many already know through common sense and experience: what we do in relationships matters more for our well-being than any other aspect of human life. This new science of love and relationships has shown that emotional bonding is one of our deepest human instincts and that good relationships play an essential role in helping us feel fulfilled and internally balanced (and even play an important role in our physical health).

Research has shown that emotion is central in creating and sustaining satisfying relationships. Emotions are sometimes thought of as a nuisance, or something to be “gotten over.” It is now understood that emotion is fundamental to all human interactions. These “feelings” are constantly operating in the background and dynamically organizing how interactions unfold. We need to be able to slow down to become aware of our emotional responses and what they mean, and we need to be able to read and understand the emotional responses in our partner.

When this process of reading and responding to each other’s emotions breaks down, couples can get caught in a defensive/reactive pattern.  This pattern can show up in many different contexts — fights about money, sex, housework, parenting — but the underlying dynamic is the same. You may be wondering, “how can I be so frustrated with this person I care about and why do we keep getting stuck in the same ways?!” The reason you are stuck is that these patterns are driven by very powerful emotions. The way out of the mess is someone who can help you unpack what is driving your pattern of disconnection, and to experience the closeness that results from renewed emotional accessibility and responsiveness.

I work with married and unmarried couples of all sexual and gender orientations and can help at any stage in your relationship. I take a non-judgmental approach that looks at the dynamic of the relationship, instead of blaming either partner.